Welcome baby Isaac!

So here it is, the birth story, the moment we have been working towards for over a year and a half. But I can't just start at the birth, to get the full picture I have to include the days before. After my 38 week check up it hit me that I could literally give birth any day. It was then that I started having mixed emotions. I was happy to know that the parents would finally meet their little boy, scared of delivery and a little sad that my part was coming to an end.
  The parents were coming with me to my 39 week check up and we were all excited. I had been having some contractions so I was sure that there would be some progress, and they doctor was doing another membrane sweep so maybe things would get going on their own. But when I arrived at my doctors office true panic set in. There was a sign on the door that said "Dr. VanKrik will be out of the office June 9-13....." This was a true moment of horror, I picked this doctor because I thought he would be the best fit for our situation and I really like him, I wanted HIM there for delivery and more than that there was a doctor that I absolutely did NOT want there! I tried not to show my panic as we went through the appointment. The baby's hear beat sounded good, my blood pressure was good and then the parents left the room for the pelvic exam/sweep. I was dilated to a 2 and the sweep still sucked. But being alone with my doctor gave me a chance to express my concern about his vacation the week I was due. It was something like this " There is no way in hell I am letting Dr.Skipitis deliver me!! He has to come out before you leave!!" Really it was more of a panicked plea than a discussion. That is when he offered to induce. Now all along I have been sure that I wanted as little medical intervention as possible...... right up until that moment when I found out that I could be delivered by someone other than my doctor! My doctor decided to give me a few minutes with the parents to discuss our options. Basically we could wait for things to happen on their own or induce Wednesday or Thursday. I knew that my husband had a lot to do at work on Wednesday and that a Thursday delivery would allow me the longest period of recovery time with help, so my vote was for Thursday. Of course the parents are so sweet that they basically left it up to me to decide so we set the date. Thursday June 5 at 7 am we would induce and bring little Isaac into the world!
   The rest of Tuesday and Wednesday was an emotional roller coaster for me. I was excited but also pretty down because the pregnancy was ending. I really tried to enjoy every last minute. I really noticed every movement the baby made and enjoyed the last days of pregnancy. The sadness was for the change in my role, the loss of the pregnancy and the fear of not knowing what would come during and after the birth.

Here is the last official bump picture of me and French Fry!

 I think we were all pretty nervous Wednesday night. The parents were trying to make sure everything was in order to bring a baby home and I was trying to make sure that I had everything in line for my kids and to prepare for coming home not pregnant. Thursday morning was met with a few tears. The time had come to say good bye to my pregnant tummy. There were even tears from my daughter when kissed my tummy for the last time. We were excited, but the huge wiggly tummy would be missed. As we left for the hospital I tried not to panic, it was a few minutes after 6:30, I knew we would be late! I hate to be late! I of course stressed and watched the clock the whole way. What if they sent us home because we were late? Then as luck would have it we hit red lights!! We made it to the hospital (less than 10 minutes late) and were greeted by the excited parents and my mom. It was a great experience for us all to be able to walk in together and even stop for a few pictures along the way. As we checked in no one cared that we were a little late. They quickly got us in to the biggest birthing room they have and by 8:00 I was hooked up to IVs and MY DOCTOR had come in and broken my water. That was an experience in its self. I had my water broken with the girls, but it was with a long hook, this time he used his hand! I remember the big gush from before but not the fact that with every contraction or movement there was more and more that came out. I felt like I was peeing myself all day long! And to control the mess I was given towels to hold between my legs. I'm sure that my trips to the bathroom were quite a site, here I am huge pregnant, hooked up to iv's, waddling to the bathroom with my ass hanging out, trying to be careful that I didn't drop the towels!
   As I said all along, it was my goal to go drug free. Well I doubted that goal when I learned that I would have pitocin. BUT I did 6 hours of labor with NOTHING but the support of my husband, mom and doula! I think I did pretty good, there was only one staff member that I really wanted to hurt...badly. Seriously, I am in pain and she is in the room FOREVER bull shitting. I found her voice to be super annoying too. But over all, I think I managed to stay pretty calm. The experience was amazing. I spent a lot of time rolling on the birthing ball. I had planned to be walking around but because of the Pitocin I had to be monitored the entire time. That was a challenge as well. In true French Fry fashion, they had a hard time keeping his heart rate on the monitor so I eventually got an internal monitor (which had to be replaced several times because he had so much hair it wouldn't stay on). The pitocin was upped every half hour. I cannot say enough about how good the labor experience was, even with the pain. My doula had all of these little tricks and her and my mom helped me to be focused and calm. But it was my husband that really surprised me. This is the first birth that we have gone through together, and I didn't know what to expect with the baby not being his and all, but he was amazing. He was by my side all day, applying pressure, rubbing my back, making sure I stayed hydrated and encouraging me and telling me how good I was doing.  Here is a picture of my support team (obviously NOT during a contraction)

So you may be wondering about the parents at this point, they were there for it all. They did a wonderful job of keeping calm and quiet which were my only requests. They even provided a few laughs! I have had many questions about if it was weird to have them in the room while I was so exposed and if you have ever given birth you know it was not. About the time the pain started I didn't give a shit who was where. They got a little warning before exams (more for their sake than mine) but really I figured that it was important for them to experience the whole process of their son coming into the world. Now, of course, I did get a bikini wax a week before delivery.... did anyone but me notice or care, no, but yes, even in labor I felt better knowing that my long lost neither regions were groomed!
   Fast forward 6 hours. 6 hours of contractions every 2 minutes or so with the pitocin getting increased every 30 minutes so they are stronger. I had been using mindful meditation (thank you Dr. Greg White for teaching us this in school), lots of breathing and counter pressure to relieve the pain but I was getting tired and I made a deal with myself that if I was still only 3 centimeters dilated, I was getting something for the pain. When my wonderful nurse Jane came in to check me, that is exactly where I was... still at 3. Now I am also watching the clock. In 6 hours I have dilated one whole centimeter. My doctor will leave at 5, if I am going to be delivered by him things have to speed up! So I opted to get some drugs in my IV. I don't remember what it was, but it was awesome. I was able to relax between contractions, but the contractions still hurt! I got a couple of doses of that and had dilated a little more but I was still hurting A LOT. At about 4 (8 hours into labor) I decided to get the epidural. It must have been meant to be because the anesthesiologist was on the labor and delivery floor and there in minutes. He did a temporary spinal block to give me some relief until the epidural started working. I had a little more relief, and I could see the relief on everyone else's faces too. It was hard on everyone seeing how much pain I was in. But I still felt the contractions. I felt the tightness and pain in my hips and back. I remember from the girls that once I had the epidural I felt nothing! The doctors told me when I was contracting. That was my first clue that something was not quite right. The contractions still really hurt and nothing made it better! When my nurse checked me a little bit later I was a 7 but the baby needed to turn so I was put on my left side with my top leg in a stirrup in hopes that he would rotate and I would dilate more. When I was checked again I was a 9 with a little bit of a lip left so the nurse stretched my cervix the rest of the way and had me start to push. My doctor was there within minutes (it was right at 5:00). I pushed a few times, pushing was the only thing that eased the pain! Now I could not feel the nurse check me or any touching, I felt like my hips and back were breaking! When the nurse called my doctor she told us that she thought that the baby was coming face up and that Dr Van Kirk would have to turn him. Now, turning him involved not one hand but TWO in my vagina actually turning the baby over! I felt none of it. The doctor actually had to keep his hand on the baby the entire hour I pushed to keep him from turning back. Pushing was hard. That is all I knew. I saw nothing but my husband, my doula, the nurse and my doctor. I pushed when I was told and rested when I was told that was it. That was all that I was aware of. I heard the doctor say something about the cord around the baby's neck and more people came into the room. But that was not scary for me. I had a job to do, all I could focus on was pushing and breathing when I was not pushing. Finally at 5:57 pm baby Isaac came into the world. He was placed on my tummy where he was greeted by his parents and they got to cut the cord that had bound us together for 39 weeks. He weighed 8 pounds 9 ounces and was 21 inches long.  With only 10 hours of labor he was my shortest labor by 3 hours and the lightest baby by an ounce.
   The delivery was hard for me but not what I would call traumatic. But according to the other people in the room it was pretty traumatic!!
   Even with the few complications Isaac was beautiful and healthy. He has a ton of hair. As I tried to recover from the exertion of giving birth, every minute of pain was worth it. I got to witness two people who have been waiting for so long see their baby for the first time. They got down and made eye contact with him and spoke to him and the nurses did their thing. It was an amazing moment.
   After the nurses got him all cleaned up and both of his parents got to hold him, they brought him to me. He is such a beautiful baby and I am so honored that they shared some of their precious first moments with me. Actually, not just me, but my family as well before he was 2 hours old my children came up and got to meet him as well. Here are a few pictures of the first few hours.

I could not have wished for a better delivery experience. And I was so blessed by the love and support that I had that day and by the parents being so open and willing to sharing their precious baby with my family and I.
   That night the baby and his parents stayed in a room on the third floor and I had my own room in pediatrics. It was a long night. Not because I was sad but because I couldn't sleep! I had such a feeling of accomplishment and peace. I had just brought a baby into the world that made a couple a family. This was for sure one of my biggest accomplishments and something that I am very proud of. I have done a lot in my 32 years. I have beautiful children of my own, I have adopted, I have completed college degrees BUT how many people can say that they helped make a family for someone else? Only a select few. I have been asked several times in the last few days if I would do it again and I would with out a doubt do it again.
  So how am I now, 4 days later? I am ok. My physical discomfort is minimal. I had no stitches or tearing. I am pumping and having good production (thanks to my placenta pills). I am tired and I forge to take it easy since I don't have a new born to remind me! Emotionally I am ok too. I do not feel like I should have left with a baby or have a desire to care for him. I did have a bit of an emotional day Saturday but once I started the placenta pills I feel much better. I may have a harder time once my surro family is not here in town, but for now I am feeling good.
   I also got another great honor. As I have mentioned from the start of this journey, I have felt that this is something that God called me to do and to make it all come around full circle the parents have asked me to be Isaacs Godmother. I couldn't be more honored to hold such a title for the little guy that I shared a body with!!
   Now I had thought that this was going to be the end of this journey, but it is not, it is just a new chapter......