Grow baby grow!

This journey, as was the last, has been such a roller coaster! After my lining was not quite thick enough and I was given one more week to thicken, I was super anxious. If you know me at all you know that I like routine and I was not excited about having an ultrasound somewhere other than MY Ob. I was nervous when I met the ultrasound tech. She asked if my bladder was full and I had to explain to her that it didn't need to be because I was having a vaginal ultrasound. Then she asked me what I was having checked so I had to explain that too. Then she took me down an elevator to a basement. I was shown to the restroom and told to strip from the waist down, put on a gown, THEN walk around the corner to an exam room. Super mortifying since there was a man sitting in a waiting room by the restroom. Once I got into the room the tech asked a bunch of questions and added the comment that I must get paid well to carry a baby. She then struggled to find both of my ovaries and said that my lining was a 7.6. The ultrasound that usually takes 10 minutes tops took over 30. I lwft feeling very discouraged. Then at about 4:15 I got a call from the RE's office in Pasadena saying that the imaging place could not send the pictured from my ultrasound, I would need to go and pick them up and send them myself. I left work a few minutes early and went back to the imaging center. They had already send the records to their main office. I had to go there (just a few miles away) and get the disk. After that I had to go home and figure out how to upload and send the images. The staff at the RE's office were all awaiting the results! As it turns out my lining was actually at 8.3 and I was given the all clear to start the additional meds and go to Pasadena for transfer!
  I was super nervous about starting the progesterone in oil. I remember the huge bruises and knots I got with it last time. So far the injection sites are just a little sore. I try to apply heat and rub really well. It is a difficult shot to do myself because it is so thick it is a little hard to push the plunger in when it is behind my back but I manage. I also started Endometrin which is also known as chalk rockets. That is because they look like a big chalk tablet and after they are inserted (vaginally) they proceed to  melt and ooze out. It is the nastiest feeling. I have to do 3 of those a day!!
  Traveling to Pasadena was uneventful. I left on Saturday got to explore a little and then went to bed. My instructions said to arrive at 9:15 for a 10:00 transfer and begin to drink a liter of water upon arrival. At a little after 8:30 I got a call from the RE's office asking where I was, they had the transfer down for 9:00!! I rechecked my paperwork and it very clearly said 10! We promptly left the room and caught the shuttle to HRC. I started drinking the water then and finished shortly after getting back into the room. It took a good 45 minutes though for my bladder to fill up enough, but when it did it went from empty to FULL!!

Here I am waiting for my bladder to fill. During this time I was texting the parents since we were all a little anxious. After the nurse checked me for the third time I was finally full enough. The transfer was short and sweet. The process only took a few minutes and I could pee after 10 and leave 20 minutes later.

This is the picture from transfer. The eggplant shaped dark blob is my very full bladder. Right below that is my uterus and there is a tiny little white spot that looks like a grain of rice, that is Tator Tot getting cozy. Kimberly said that it does not look like a tator tot yet but rather a potato pill.
  After that it was time to head back to the hotel and rest. I have been super cautious this time. I stayed in bed and have really been paying attention to my caffeine intake and how much I lift. Now the hardest part.... The two week wait for the official pregnancy test. The test is scheduled for April 1st of all days! We had a slight battle over home pregnancy tests. They say no test. I have no willpower. I will take home test but I wont tell them the results unless they ask. With Isaac I got a positive test a little under 4 days past transfer. This time the embryo had grown 3 days instead of 5 so I have to wait a little longer to test.

  Hopefully my next update will be about a positive

What a journey....

I titled this blog the Journey of Surrogacy, but really it is life that is the journey. I have not posted much about what is going on this cycle because honestly, I didn't want to jinx it or have to explain things over and over. The last few months have been full of ups and downs, not just with the hiccups with the surrogacy, but life in general. Sin.ce November I have lost my really good job and started a new one (making half of what I was), my husband and I separated, my daughter's car was in the shop, I adopted my diabetic cat that ended up having a $1300 emergency vet bill, and my car died and had to be replaced. It is A LOT. Many people asked why I didn't just put the surrogacy on hold, and quite honestly, carrying a sibling for Isaac is something positive that brings me joy. Yes there is physical and emotional stress, but overall being pregnant has always been when I felt the best.
   This time there is a little more need for things to be perfect. This cycle has started out anything but perfect. After our last cycle was dropped I was told to stop all meds, go on birth control for 2 weeks and then we would cycle again with my period. That is where it began, with my period. I kept being asked if I had started my period by the nurse and I didn't know what to tell her! They say to report the first day of full flow, well as expected and as was written on my calendar, I began to spot a few days after stopping birth control, then it stopped, then it started again, and stopped again. Finally on the morning of my first monitoring appointment I started. I started a new medical protocol this time that stopped my period after only 2 days! This time I was started out on more aggressive hormones. In addition to the supplements I was instructed to take 2 estradiol tablets, and then every three days inject .1cc of estradiol and have an estrogen patch. In order to transfer the uterine lining needs to be at least 8mm thick, at my first appointment it was around 4mm. That was fine given I had just started my period. Now me being me, I spent the next week stressing about what happens if my lining doesn't get thick enough this time too. Fast forward to my second appointment, it starts off with the nurse telling me that my blood pressure is high.... like 180/102 high. I have never had high blood pressure even though I have a family history of it, but I just had a physical in December and it wasn't high then. The doctor started off the appointment by telling me that he would not see me again if I did not go to my regular doctor and get my blood pressure checked! Then the ultrasound.... my lining was 5.8. I was very disappointed to see such a low number. Since I had made progress the doctor in Pasadena wanted to increase the estrogen to try to get my lining thicker in the next week. That meant shots going up to .2ccs and taking a third estradiol pill every day. I spent a week stressing about my stupid lining AND my blood pressure! Per my OB/GYN's orders I had my blood pressure checked, the same day that it was so high in their office it was 122/80. In December it was only 110/60! I swear it is just the anxiety of the monitoring appointments that makes my blood pressure go sky high! Now fast forward to this week.... I have been really working on relaxation and trying to lower my blood pressure, I even tried to function on one cup of coffee. All of the drama of the last few months has pretty much been resolved. I only had the stress of what my blood pressure would be and how thick my lining was. My blood pressure was still high, but not as high as last week. Then I sat and waited for the ultrasound just praying for the magical 8mm and triple stripe. I got 7.6! SERIOUSLY!!! .4mm off from a go to transfer on the 13th. I had no idea what would happen. Is it possible to grow .4mm by Sunday? Would they cancel over.4mm? As it turns out they pushed the transfer out a week to give me a little more time to have the perfect uterus. In the mean time I increase my estradiol shots to.3cc's and I will now do 2 estrogen patches! I have to go to a different office on Monday to have another ultrasound which will decide if we transfer this cycle or cancel.
   I know that I am doing everything in my power to make this journey successful, but there is still a part of me that questions if I did something wrong or if my lining would have been thicker if I had done something different. For the next 6 days all I can do is take my meds and try not to stress. It is in God's hands and I need to let it go. I don't know what happens if we have to drop this cycle too. I am not sure how many times they will cycle with me not having good results before they decide to drop me as a surrogate. I feel like my body is letting us all down. I trying to stay positive that we will have good results on Monday.