Transfer

Last Saturday, the day before we left to go to Pasadena for the transfer, I decided I needed one last day of thrilling excitement so we took the kids to Six Flags Marine world! We had a blast! We didn't see any of the animal shows though because we were riding rides all day long! By far Super Man was the scariest! Everyone loved it! Even Noah made it through the day without melting down even having no nap! We left Vallejo when the park closed at 9, putting us home around 11 pm. Which wouldn't be too bad except that we had to leave by 7:30 Sunday morning to catch our plane to LA! George had to pack and give me a shot, I still had to make sure that everything was in order for Dallys, who was staying with Noah and the dogs while we were gone! It was a late night!
   Once we got to Pasadena we went straight to the hotel. We stayed at the Westin, it was nice, and the bed was really comfortable! Then we walked around Pasadena, there are some beautiful buildings there! One church looked like a castle, it was beautiful! We ate lost of good food too!!
   Monday morning I woke up at 4:30 because I had a terrible nightmare that the shuttle driver got lost and we missed our appointment! Totally irrational since many of the surrogates stay there and we were less than a mile from the clinic! I eventually got back to sleep. When we woke up I was super excited and nervous! What if it didn't work? What if it did? My biggest fear though was really peeing on the table! I was told to bring 1 liter of water and drink it between signing in and the transfer. Then after the transfer I would have to lay on the table for about an hour! That is a lot of water and a long wait for someone with a squirrel bladder!
   We made it to HRC without a problem and I signed in and started on the giant water bottle! Within 10 minutes, if that, we were taken back into the transfer room and I was told to undress and get on the table and that the doctor would be in to talk to us soon. The room was freezing, but I at least had a blanket to cover up with instead of the tiny paper covers mast doctors used. I had barely finished my water when the doctor came in did a quick ultrasound and said he could see everything well enough to do the transfer with out my bladder being painfully full. Then he inserted the catheter into my uterus and called for the embryo to be brought in. Here is me waiting on the table!

 Then another guy brought the embryo in to the room in a little syringe. Dr Kolb inserted the syringe into the end of the catheter and pushed the little embryo in to my uterus. It was pretty cool to watch, it was just a tiny white speck that we saw come out of the end of the tube and stop at the top of my uterus. Then the other doctor took the tube back to the lab to make sure that the embryo was really out. After the call that the transfer was successful the doctor left. This is the embryo

The whole procedure probably took less than 3 minutes. Then I laid on the table for about 15 minutes when a nurse came in and went over all of my medication instructions and new restrictions. Then I was allowed to go to the bathroom and then lay back down for another 30 minutes. After that we were all done. Time to call the hotel shuttle and let my bed rest begin! This is me waiting for the shuttle! Do I look pregnant? Yeah, you all better say no!

   I have to admit that I was excited about mandatory bed rest. As a mom, no one ever says "lay in bed all day except to pee and shower". So I watched some TV and studied for a test while George walked to Rubios to get us lunch. ( it's a super yummy Mexican food place) Then I did a little more homework and watched some more TV. By 2:00 I was bored out of my mind! It was the longest day ever! I watched so much TV that we were seeing repeat episodes. George did a great job of making sure that I stayed in bed and had everything that I needed or wanted.

    I was so happy when Tuesday came and I could get out of bed! Our IPs were coming to see us in the afternoon so we decided to take a walk. There was the cutest little shopping center and I even found a place to get one of the best pedicures that I have ever gotten! Then we had lunch at Rubios again and went back to the hotel for a nap! Our IPs got there around 4 in the afternoon and we had a great time walking around the town chatting and taking in the sites. After they left we went back to the hotel for a bit then went out for ice cream!! We ate so much on this trip that I was really surprised that I did not gain any weight!

   George had woken up Tuesday not feeling well, so Wednesday I let him sleep while I packed up and got ready to leave. After he got up and got ready we left our hotel to go to our IPS hotel in West Hollywood to have lunch with them. That is where the highlight of George's trip happened. He saw Mike Tyson at the hotel. He was like a kid in a candy shop, I seriously thought George might jump up and follow him, but he didn't, he just told me who it was practically jumping up and down! We met up with our IPs and walked to this great little bookstore. It was so cute, just a tiny little shop with floor to ceiling books! I could have spent hours in there! After that we went to this cute little diner for lunch and then it was off to the airport.

   The travel was definitely the worst part of the trip. I really hate cabs! By some miracle I could smell on this trip, cabs just smell dirty! Then their driving is atrocious! I finally had to just close my eyes and pray we made it there safe. I am so not made for big cities!! Then there is the whole flying part. While I have gotten over the panic of actually flying, and I am getting less scared of being over the water for brief amounts of time, I am still extremely anxious about the descents. Not because I think we will crash but because about every other flight when we start to descend my messed up sinuses decide not to regulate with the change in pressure causing me to experience the most excruciating pain ever! I can't even describe the what it feels like. This time was not exception, I went from peacefully reading my book to doubled over feeling like my head would literally explode. The pain really only lasts 5-10 minutes but it seems like forever. When I had sinus surgery in 2011, the doctor thought that I would not have this issue any more, he was wrong! I don't have it when we drive home from the mountains, but flying still gets me. I was hopeful that both flights would be pain free since I could smell and felt pretty uncongested. I am just grateful that I was only on one flight and not both!

   Overall we had a great trip and I am hopeful that we will have a positive pregnancy test on August 5th! So I'm sure you are wondering if I have taken any home pregnancy tests.... yes I have. BUT I am not going to share the results yet! That will be the next update, probably after I get the BETA (pregnancy test) results!



 

                                                                                                                                                                          

It's time!

   My appointment Tuesday revealed that my lining looks great and that we are good to go ahead and transfer!! AND because of travel conflicts with my IPs we moved it up to Monday! I started a new medication regimen as well. I now start my day off with 3 prenatal vitamins, 2 estrogen pills, baby aspirin, DHA, and Foliate as well as a steroid and a vaginal suppository of progesterone 3xs a day. Then in the evening it's 2 more estrogen pills and a nice big shot of progesterone in oil, and every third day I continue with the estrogen injections! Whew! I am a walking, hormonal, drug cabinet! I have attached the video of last nights shots, lucky me we started out the PIO injections on an estrogen night so I got two shots! You will notice that I jump a little with the PIO, it hurt a little bit! That shot is a daily one, so I am hoping that it was just the spot we used and that it will be a piece of cake every other night. A little brag for me though, George was out of town on Monday and I had to do my own shot. It was pretty easy except for the awkward angle I had to use to hit the right spot. I never in a million years would have thought that I would be able to give myself shots!
   Today as I was lazily laying in bed I was hit with the realization that this could be the last time I relax in my bed NOT PREGNANT! Tomorrow we get up early to take the kids to 6 Flags and Sunday we are up early to go to Pasadena to get ready for the transfer! We will be there until Wednesday evening. I am a little nervous about leaving my kids (and my dog) for that long, but I know they will be in good hands. I am really excited that we will be able to spend some time in person with our IPs! It is so flattering to know that they are traveling so far just to spend time with me. It will also be nice to spend some kid free time with my husband.
   We will be staying at the Westin, which means nothing to me, but the pictures look super nice. Really, I am so simple I would much rather stay at a Holiday Inn Express ( I am addicted to their biscuits and gravy)! It seems like a waste to put us in such a fancy hotel. The last one was really nice and we were only there a few hours. This time we will get lots of use of the room since I will be on bed rest after the transfer. What am I going to do while stuck in bed for days?? Well, I plan on sleeping without a kid or dog waking me up and studying for my mid term and preparing a presentation! I know, lots of fun, but I have to take advantage of the quiet time while I have it. I guess I should research close by things for my husband to do!
   Praying friends please say a prayer for safe travel and a successful transfer as well as for the safety of my kids and dog while we are gone! 8 months of preparation, planning and anticipation has gone into this day, while I know there is a possibility that the transfer will fail, I am staying positive and planning on the baby getting nice and comfy in my uterus!

Our camera person is my 10 year old!

count down

     My appointment on Tuesday went well, according to the doctors everything is progressing nicely. As a reward for my uterus being so awesome I got to add another pill to the regimen and increase the dosage of my shots! The shots are still painless BUT next week I will have to do my first one al by myself! I am not really noticing any side effects from any of the medication other than a little breast tenderness and I am pretty tired. The tiredness could be from my crazy schedule and my husbands dogs need to wake up at the crack of dawn! If everything looks good next Tuesday I will start an additional injection, another oral medication and vaginal suppositories all in preparation for our transfer the following week! That's right, less than 2 weeks away! I am so excited to get this part done with! I also got the great news that at least one of my IPs will be there, which I wasn't expecting. I can't wait, we have not seen each other in person since our match meeting in March! I think is will be so neat for them to be able to watch THEIR little embryo actually be transferred into my uterus. Yeah, it sound weird but in a cool way! Science it pretty fascinating!

   To prepare for my pregnancy we are getting some fun stuff out of the way! After my last monitoring appointment on Tuesday I am taking my 3 kids and my niece Dallys to the Jelly Belly Factory. Please pray that I do not have a nervous breakdown driving strange roads in a strange city with 4 kids and that I do not get lost! My silly GPS is so hit and miss that I have been getting lost quite a bit these days!! THEN on Saturday we are taking the kids and Dallys to 6 Flags Marine World. I have not been there since I was little (and there were not rides) and it is our trade off for not going to the nasty local fair. Dallys lucks out because she is my babysitter so she gets to go all over with me! Then Monday it is off to Pasadena to get knocked up! The next 2 weeks are going to fly by! Now if I could just get someone to do my homework for me!! I can do it! I will get everything done because I am super mom! My husband and family are SOOO much help, but there is still a lot of stuff I have to do myself and things that I am to obsessive about to let anyone else do!

   So some have been asking about what actually happens at and after the transfer. My husband and I will fly to LA on Monday (after I take a test of course!) leaving the girls with their dad and Noah with Dallys and my mom. (thank God for having a teenage niece!) We will hopefully get there early enough to relax, not 2 am like our first trip! Then off to the clinic early the next morning. Immediately after the procedure I have to hang out on the table for about an hour letting the little embie settle in and get comfortable! After that we head back to the hotel where I am on bed rest (except to shower and pee) for the rest of the day and part of the next. Then we fly home. After that I am supposed to take it easy and not lift stuff or do any strenuous exercise until the BETA which is 12 to 14 days after the transfer. That is the blood test that will determine if I am actually pregnant or not.  Now as many of you know about me, I HATE surprises. I am totally the kid that peeked at Christmas presents and gives gift early because I cannot stand the suspense! So there is no way in hell I will be waiting 12-14 days to find out if we are pregnant. I have already bought a convenient pack of 25 pregnancy tests (just to be sure!). I hear that surros get positive results anywhere from 4- 10 days after the transfer soooo my plan is to start testing at day 7. Knowing me that really means day 4 though. After the first BETA there will be 1-2 more tests to make sure that the pregnancy hormone numbers keep increasing. If that all looks good, at 6 weeks we have our first ultrasound to confirm pregnancy and hear a heartbeat!

   Since I mentioned exercise I have to confess, I have fallen off of the wagon! Since the kids got out of school I have not found a routine that works! I have not gone for a run in weeks. AND I have put on about 6 pounds. This week I have been really working on eating well and my plan is to start my 5k training program again next week. I probably wont be able to drop all of the extra weight (and the 5 more I wanted to lose) by the transfer, but I will be back on a healthier path. These damn kids make it so hard to eat good, especially when we are on the go so much! They are not going to be happy when we are packing lunches for our trips next week! hehe! The encouraging part is that I know what I need to do to start losing again and I know that I am capable of doing it. Plus the way I was eating is much healthier for the pregnancy as well. Now I have not gone completely back to old habits, we have just been eating out a lot and I have seriously been craving carbs. Ok, and ice cream! Damnit!! Its so hot here and I love ice cream!! To help me stay on track I made a trip to the farmers market and stocked up on fresh produce. I have learned that if I am going to stay faithful to my eating plan I cannot have other stuff in the house. If I think that I have to actually leave the house and drive 15+ minutes to get junk, I usually change my mind. It is so true that change in your schedule can really set you back! Normally I would drop Noah off, run come home eat breakfast, do homework, make lunch pick Noah up, make dinner. It worked. Now I struggle with if I take him on a run it will suck pushing the stroller (it scares my dog a little) and if I don't go early it is too hot. All of these decisions usually leave me sitting on my ass. We have been kayaking quite a bit, but I don't feel like I am doing as much as when I bust my ass on a run. I have prepares to take it easier when I am pregnant, but until then I need to push  myself. I guess putting it in writing make me feel more accountable! I know I feel good when I break a sweat regularly and I have to make the time to do it!

  That is about all the news for now, hopefully more good results next week!

one step closer

    The past couple of weeks have been pretty hectic for us. The kids and I went to the coast for 4 days with my mom and brothers to celebrate my moms birthday. It was great and the weather was beautiful! We had a lot of fun, but it was a little sad too, that was the weekend I was planning to start taking pregnancy tests to see if our transfer had worked, but no such luck since it was cancelled. But, I did not have much time to feel sorry about myself for  the set back. I had stopped birth control on Thursday and HRC had said to expect my period that weekend, but I was doubtful since stopping bc did not work last time. But it came just as they had predicted. We got home from our trip around 8 pm Monday and were on the road to Roseville for my first monitoring appointment by 7 am Tuesday. The appointment went well and I fully expected to hear from HRC that I could start meds, but I heard NOTHING from them! I was irritated to say the least. I was worried that starting my meds late would delay the July 23 transfer and we would be set back AGAIN! After some back up from my IPS I got some lame excuse from the DR about not getting the test results and not being able to get ahold of the monitoring clinic after hours (really? they expected to reach them after hours??) BUT I got the ok to start meds.
   I was excited to be going forward again. This whole journey has been full of ups and downs, two steps forward and one step back! I was getting scared about the HUGE needle that my husband was going to be stabbing into me. To make it worse, I am super OCD about making sure that all of the medications are done PERFECT and everything is written down. So I organized all of the meds into 2 pill boxes and then organized the syringes and needles. That was a big oh shit moment! There are soooo many pills and the needles really are BIG! I took the pills and it is a lot, but really no big deal other than remembering to take my night pills. Then it was time for the shot. I procrastinated as much as humanly possible and finally got everything together. I used a super size 18 gauge needle to draw the meds and then switched to a 22 gauge that is 1 1/2 inches long. Now to some that might not sound big but when you consider that it is NOT a medical professional that is jamming that needle into my hip IT IS HUGE! When my poor husband saw the syringe he was even a little nervous, but he HAD to do it, I don't think there is any way I could have! So I iced my hip so it didn't hurt as bad and got my phone all set up to record and just as George was getting ready to go I took a lovely picture of my butt instead of starting the video, so I was able to delay another minute!! I finally got the camera all figured out and it was go time..... I barely felt a poke. In the video I actually have to ask if it is in. The estrogen that we are injecting is in a castor oil base so it is really thick and we have to go really slow. But once again I barely felt the injection at all. Now I am not sure that I am ready to do it myself, but I will have to in a couple of weeks when George is out of town! After he removed the needle I applied a rice heating pad and rubbed the injection site to help distribute the medication and reduce knots. The rice heating pad is a sleeve filled with rice and lavender, it is designed to be used around the neck as a relaxation tool. You heat it in the microwave until it is the desired temperature, so its super easy. I chose this over the heating pad because the heat is a little more moist than a heating pad and I can still move around with it on. That was important because we had a barbeque for my mom on Thursday and I was busy making cheesecake filled chocolate dipped strawberries and cupcakes!  So in all honesty the worst part of the BIG shot was the anticipation. I only do these injections once every 3 days so it is not bad at all.
   I have another monitoring appointment on Tuesday to make sure my uterine lining is thickening well and everything looks good, they will also determine if any dosage changes are required. But so far so good and hopefully by the end of the month I will be pregnant! I also have to mention how impressed with the monitoring clinic I am. I do not enjoy the 3 hour drive each way, but the staff really is friendly and the actual appointment goes very quick with little waiting. I took Kaylee in with me, she is my doctor in training, and they were so good with her. They let her watch as they drew my blood and explained to her that I have little veins so they use a special needle on me. Then for the ultrasound the nurse practioner came in and introduced herself to Kaylee and then me. During the ultrasound she made a special point to explain to Kaylee what she was looking at. It was basically " see that thing that looks like a pear? That is your mom's uterus, that is will the baby will grow. Those circles are the ovaries, that is where the eggs come from". I was really impressed that they took the time to explain everything to my 10 year old.
   I am so relieved that we are moving right as scheduled this time! I found a website that calculates due dates with IVF and according to that, with a July 23rd 5day transfer I will be due April 10th, 2014. That is right after Kimberly's birthday, That is actually a pretty good time because I will deliver before it gets really hot (it has hit 115 this last week here) and it is not too far into my camping season so I will still be able to enjoy my summer! The down fall is that it is only a month into my second practicum, but I am thinking of only doing one site so that it will not be a big deal and I plan on missing as little time as possible. So incase you are not all up to date on IVF terms, 5dt is a 5 day transfer, meaning that the embryo was fertilized and has been growing for 5 days, In our case that happened in June and the embryo was then frozen to wait for my uterus to be cooperative. We are all really hoping for ONE really healthy baby, but what happens is when the embryos are thawed the RE will look at their quality. If they are not of the best quality they may transfer more than one in hopes that one takes. If that happens there is a possibility of both taking and having twins. Now that would not be the end of the world, but it would definitely slow me down more than I would like so please pray for us to have ONE healthy embie that results in ONE healthy baby for my IPS. We have 18 days of prayer to ensure that God hears us!
   I have been getting a lot of questions lately about how I will be able to give the baby away and even though I am not pregnant yet I KNOW the answer, it is not mine to keep! It feels like getting someone you love that perfect gift that you know will mean the world to them. My pay off will be getting to witness these two amazing people that I was matched with seeing their baby that they have wanted for so long for the first time. I know I have said it before, but the match with these IPs could not have been more perfect. We really have so much in common. It really is a beautiful process to see this relationship evolve. It is hard to imagine that just a few months ago I had no idea whose baby I would be carrying and now I have new family members! They have showed me several times over the past few months that they are going through this process WITH me. I have heard horror stories of surros that never meet their IPS aside from the match meeting. They do not attend the delivery, just get handed the baby at the end. I cannot imagine not sharing that process with my IPs. This is THEIR pregnancy, it just happens that it is going to be in my body. I am so appreciative of them and that they are willing to have a relationship, not just with me, but my whole family. Even though my kids have not met them in person yet, they talk about them and ask questions and plan for meeting them. I think that that part is so important, especially for us. Since most of my kids are older, they fully understand the pregnancy process and they will see my belly grow and feel the baby move. I think having a good relationship with our IPs will make it a seemless transition for them when we go from me being pregnant to our IPs taking the baby home.
   So now I have to share my proud mommy moment. There are so many times that I doubt I am doing things right with my kids. I keep them alive, but they drive me nuts. Noah is well...... Noah and the girls can be so sassy and fight non stop. But every now and then I get a little glimpse of the good people my children are turning out to be. So the girls and I were discussing the Supreme Courts ruling to dismiss proposition 8 and to recognize same sex marriage and what that meant in terms of our religion. Kimberly said it perfectly. Basically it was this: we were taught that God created ALL of us and makes not mistakes. Homosexuality is NOT a choice, so if God really did not want there to be gay people he would not have made them this way. This makes me so proud! I know that not every Christian agrees with this point of view, even some people very close to me will argue this point, but I am proud to say that my children are learning LOVE and ACCEPTANCE in Gods name. Who could ask for more? Who could really say that that is wrong? I still stand by my belief that God wants us to love one another above all else. It is not up to us to judge. When faced with confrontations from those who have more conservative beliefs than I do, I always consider this, what if choosing to love and accept those that live differently than I do is a test of not only my compassion for others but my obedience to Gods word? What if it is a test of love thy neighbor? Would you pass? I may not be the poster Christian, I drink (a little), I swear like a sailor, I have sinned.....A LOT, I don't spend hours in the Bible and I don't sit in church EVERY Sunday. But I believe and trust in God, I have an undisputable testimony of what He has done in my life and I feel his guidance in my decisions. My children and I are baptized in His name and overall try to lead a life that brings glory to His name. It is my hope that when people look at my family they will not see the hypocritical, judgmental people that some Christians have a reputation of being. I would hope that they will see good people that have a love for God and standing up for what is right, even if it means taking the road less traveled.    I have restored confidence that aside from typical shittyness of teenagers (especially girls) I am doing a good job raising good people!  I love seeing how much understanding of true love for others my choice to be a surrogate is teaching them. They see me sacrifice and go through discomfort for the benefit of other people. They are learning about different cultures and have an interest in different countries, they are learning that there is more than what we see in our tiny little town, and that make me proud! So I will leave you with a picture of my daily medication regimen and the video of my first estrogen shot.