aaaah!! Shots!

   So this update began at church this Sunday. I battle back and forth on if there is ANY possible way that this surrogacy could not be seen as biblical. This week, as with many others, the sermon was designed just for me! It was on telling your story about what God had done in your life. He said that this is what inspires others to believe, when they see miracles in the lives of people they know and love. Well, he also said that these testimonies are often seen by others as crazy! If we look back through the bible there are many "crazy" testimonies; talking burning bushes, water turned to blood, the blind given sight ect. This made so much sense to me! My testimony is for sure crazy! I wanted a baby, prayed for a baby and was given a baby with no pregnancy or delivery. Then I felt called to give that gift to another family. I was guided to chose THESE IP's, and now the medical process has started and in a month their baby will be transferred into my uterus for me to care for and nurture until delivering it into their arms. It doesn't get much crazier than that! This sermon was another affirmation that I am carrying out God's will by doing this.
  Fast forward to Monday morning. My first monitoring appointment in Roseville (3 hours away) was at 10:45, now I am known to occasionally get lost and panic in traffic, so Kimberly and I left at 7:15 to make sure that we were there on time. We had to make a few stops, I NEEDED coffee, Kimberly forgot deodorant so I had to buy her some and because of the coffee and my bladder that is the size of a peanut we had to check out every rest area along I5! There really was not much traffic once we reached Sacramento and we arrived 30 minutes early so we had a snack and headed in. We didn't wait long before I was called back for the blood draw. Kimberly has a fear of needles so she covered her eyes as they drew 2 vials of blood. Then we were sent back to the waiting room to wait for the ultrasound. Maybe 15 minutes later we were back getting checked out. My uterus lining was 7mm and I had 3 follicles on one side and 5 on the other. So what does that mean??  I have no idea!
   Since we were so close we decided to check out the Galleria mall, it is MUCH bigger than our mall!! We spent hours checking out all of the stores, it was a lot of fun and I didn't even spend any money! I left with only my free Victoria's Secret panties! Ok and some chocolate from Sees! Kimberly did not want to eat at any of the places in the mall so we were going to stop in Woodland since I am more familiar with the area there. Well, I have NO navigation skills so I have to rely on mapquest on my Iphone to get me where I need to be. There were a lot of turns to get to the mall so I didn't think anything when I didn't recognize anything. Then it told me to continue on this road 20-something miles. I knew that was not how we got there!! Turns out my lovely GPS decided that I needed to go home a different way! I was quite panicked! George had taken me to Sacramento this way once, but I was not familiar with any of it and I was hungry and there was nothing but FIELDS!! Thank God for my Sees candy! Ok, I did pack a bunch of fruits and veggies but that is NOT what I wanted! Once we made it to Marysville my poor daughter had been exposed to a wide variety of old and newly made up swear words! ( swearing is one of my many vices )  As we finally found Burger King ( which is what I had my mind made up that I wanted to eat) and I rolled my window down to order, there were church bells ringing!! Kimberly thought this was HILARIOUS. She told me it was God telling me to stop swearing, then she said "I'm calling Grandma!" haha! So we took the LOOONG scenic route (without bathrooms) home.
   On the way home I got the email from the nurse at HRC saying that everything looked good and I was to start the Lupron injections that evening. That made me a little nervous, who really WANTS to stab themselves with a needle? When I picked Kaylee up I told her that we would do the shot at 9:00, so of course she watched the clock like a hawk! 1 hour mom, 30 minutes mom, 10 minutes.... it's time!! I got everything ready and Kimberly got my phone ready to video as Kaylee watched. I decided I was not going to drag it out, just do it, so I quickly stabbed the needle in. To my surprise I felt NOTHING! No, pinch or poke, no burning. Nothing! Now me being as technologically challenged as I am, somehow I deleted the video of the injection I was going to share!Kaylee is going to do the injection tonight so we will video that and attach it before I post this update.
   So what now? I continue the Lupron injections until next Thursday when I have my next monitoring appointment. At that appointment they will decide if I am ready to start Estridol/ Delestrogen injections, Estrace tablets, prenatal vitamins, folate supplements, DHA supplements, Baby aspirin and   possibly reduce the amount of Lupron I am injecting daily. Oh man that is going to be a lot! These injections are the BIG ones that will go into my hip, I am quite nervous about those!! That's if for this week, more to come after my appointment next week !

Here We Go!

It has been a quiet couple of weeks awaiting my appointment to start medication Monday. There has been a lot going on with school and the kids. Kaylee had to do her project on the California missions, it was very painful to let her do it and not take over and make it perfect! She was a little bummed when she went to class and many kids had projects that their parents very obviously had done, but someone gave her a complement on hers and she was so proud to be able to say that she had done most of the work. I pretty much did nothing other than run the hot glue gun and help her put on the horrendous plaster of Paris ( which I will NEVER touch again). Then Kimberly got braces, she was really excited to get them on but they were a little uncomfortable this morning. She is preparing to graduate 8th grade next month and then leave for camp out on a house boat with church. She graduates at 10 am and leaves for camp at 2 pm the same day! She is going to have so much fun. I am so grateful to have found a church that is so much fun for my kids to be a part of.
  Now surrogacy related... I am scheduled to go to Roseville for my first appointment Monday morning (almost 3 hours away). I was thinking that they would either give me all of the medication there, or maybe it was sent after the appointment when they got all of my results. I learned from another surrogate that they should have been sent to me right after we got our calendar!! Needless to say I panicked a little. 11 pm and I was emailing the clinic and sent them another email in the morning as well. Turns out my meds were somehow not ordered! Thank God the pharmacy is fast! They packaged and shipped them over night and they arrived this morning. When they were delivered I was pleasantly surprised at the small little box! Much less than I expected. Then I opened it.... it was like a jack in the box, there is sooo much in there! I really had an oh shit moment when I started looking at the syringes, it is real now. I am doing this. In just a few days I will be starting injections and in a month we will transfer. I am still quite nervous about the "big" shots but I don't start them for a few more weeks. It was a little scary to see the needles. Those things are BIG! I just keep telling myself that the shots are temporary and for a good cause. I know that I am imagining it to be much worse than it is actually going to be! I will update more after my appointment but today I will leave you with a shot of all of the medication I will be taking over the next month... OMG!

Moving along

     First off, I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my blog. I really appreciate all of the questions and comments I get from people. I am really excited to share my story of the surrogacy process with others. There are so many negative stories that are out there that the good ones get forgotten. I have to say though, when I looked and saw how many page views I had I wanted to throw up a little. To think that I am sharing my thoughts with so many people is a little intimidating, but the fact that people are reading this encourages me to continue. So thank you!
     If you asked someone to describe me patient would NOT be a characteristic they would assign to me. This whole process from day one had been very trying. Ok, the initial application and interview were pretty quick but after that every step has taken FOREVER!!! Now, my logical brain totally understands that everything has to be in order and every t crossed and i dotted but my emotional brain doesn't care!! I want to do this NOW! From the interview to the screening was almost 2 months, then another month for clearance. Then a week or so before profiles and over a month until a match meeting. SOOOO SLOW!! Hopefully I will learn to be more patient by the end! But we have progress. We got our legal clearance on May 3rd and we got a calendar today! No, not a calendar for decoration, a calendar that says I go for my first monitoring appointment on May 27th and then start meds. Then off to Pasadena on June 22 to transfer either June 23 or 25. Now lots of biological crap can change those dates but it is still exciting to know the time is coming!
   Knowing that I may be pregnant in less than 2 months has sparked a little panic. I have this urge to exercise A LOT, which is not really bad. My first thought when I got the calendar though was "oh, shit! I need a drink, or a lot of drinks"! Now this is funny because in the last 6 months I have had half a beer and a strawberry daiquiri. I can probably count the alcoholic drinks I have had in the last year on one hand! The last time I drank heavily was almost 4 years ago. I have no idea why that was my first concern but even I had to laugh at it! I have been trying to wean myself off of caffeine for a while now. Yesterday I realized  that I am kind of sucking at that! I had a cup of coffee 2 teas and a diet soda. I am in search of a tea with no calories, no caffeine that tastes good. I usually drink diet peach or rasberry Snapple, so any ideas would be appreciated!I could totally do without soda but there is no way I would drink nothing but water. Other than that I don't have too many unhealthy habits left!
   The next month is super busy for us as the school year winds down and I prepare for my baby to graduate 8th grade ;(. I cannot believe I am that old!! Anyway, I am hopeful that all of the events will make the waiting easier and make it feel like no time at all. It is pretty amazing to think that by this time next year our IPs will most likely be holding THEIR baby! Now there are all sorts of things that could prolong the process, but I am hopeful that everything will go smoothly.
    I will also be starting my practicum in September. I am hoping that being pregnant will not interfere with that process. I will do a total of 2 practicums. The first one is 6 months. I don't foresee there being an issue with that one at all. Therapists get pregnant all of the time. It is the second one I am a little concerned about.  It may fall to where I deliver in the middle of it! I really hope that it is still not an issue. I really plan on taking as little time as possible off. This is the part where I trust God to guide me and put me where I need to be. I am confident it will all work out.
   I am sure you are all sick of hearing it, but I am so grateful for my family. I do not know many people who would move into my home for days at a time to make sure that my kids and my dogs stay on schedule. But my mom does it when ever I need her too. This can be bad though, because I feel like she goes so far above and beyond by doing this that I don't ask her to babysit really any other time, except occasionally for school. This means no dates for the hubby and I :( Now, there are other people I could ask, I am sure, but it is so much easier when you leave your quirky kid with people who know them and their issues well. Then there is my husband. He has stood by my side and supported me through not one, but TWO college degrees, allowed me to be able to quit my job and then chose to support me through this process as well. He has had to miss work and deal with my rants when things don't go as I want them to. He listens to a ton of stuff I am sure he couldn't care less about. And he will also be the lucky one to stab a 41/2 inch needle into my ass so I better be nice to him!! I am grateful for my cohort at school. Not every surrogate has a group of therapists to talk to twice a week for free! Ok, not for free, school is expensive :) But they are great. So many different views and perspectives. I am grateful for the few friends that I have that I know I could call on if I needed anything. I don't see any of them regularly, but I know they are still there. I am also grateful for my kids and their open minds and curiosity. I am surprised at some of the questions they ask. They put a lot of thought into this process and learning bout what is going to happen to us and learning all about our IPS. And I am especially grateful for our IP's. I had no idea idea when the agency said that they try to match our personalities that they would do such an amazing job! It's like having best friends that are REALLY far away. There are seriously times that my husband has not wanted to hear about something, mostly Grey's Anatomy, ( I know, who doesn't want to hear about Grey's?) where he has told me to email my IP instead. I really didn't know what to expect. I have heard so many stories about so many different kinds of relationships with IP's  and I am grateful that the agency brought me together with ones that are perfect for us.
   This is such an amazing process with so many emotions and experiences. I am so happy that I chose to follow my hear and do this. I can't wait for the next step!