So now to one of the biggest parts of my life now..... PUMPING! I spend a great deal of time focused on my breast pump! Up until a week ago I pumped 7 times a day. 5 am, 8am 11am 2pm 5-6pm, 9pm and 2 am. These are just start times, it does not include the 20+ minutes to pump and set up and clean up. Once I went back to work and the kids returned to school the 2 am pump was killing me so I recently cut it out. I went from and average of 80-86 ounces per day down to 75 but the sleep was worth it!! I am now back up to close to 80 ounces per day again. Leaving the house right now is a big ordeal, it is quite similar to leaving with an infant! I have to pack up the kids, my pump, an ice chest and my water, I can't get enough water right now!
Now, I bet you are wondering what I do with all of the milk I pump? No?? Well I'll tell you anyway! I donate it. Recently I did enter into an agreement to supply milk to a baby for compensation which is a blessing since that is my only income right now! I have donated over 7100 ounces and have a stock pile of over 2200 ounces waiting to be donated. That is over 73 gallons of milk in 4 months that I have made!! When Isaac was first born, ok even before he was born, I was super bummed that I would not be able to donate to him but as always God had other plans for my milk! I have been able to help feed 6 babies!! 1 is exclusively on my milk, for another my milk is used to supplement his mama's milk and I donate to them regularly. The other 4 were one time donations to babies that needed it.
It has been a little awkward explaining my situation over and over again at work. It usually goes something like this, I let someone know I am going out to pump, that usually gets a question of "hoe old is your baby?" from someone in the office which opens the door to the big explanation of how I don't have a baby an no its not for the baby I carried. It is quite apparent that milk sharing is not all that know about to the general public.
I am still getting questions of if I would do another surrogacy and the answer is still yes, in a heart beat. I am actually REALLY missing being pregnant! I have even contemplated if I could fit another journey in between Isaac and his future sibling. As tempting as it is, I think I will wait until the sibling journey for a few reasons. One being that it gives me time to reach my weight goals and a little time without prepping for pregnancy, being pregnant or pumping, it gives me more time to hope that other cultures begin to recognize the huge benefits of breast feeding but most of all I am scared shitless that matching with someone else would not be as good of an experience as what I have had this time. Which brings me to my next rant.....
Ricky Martin. I saw an article on Facebook where he was getting tons of praise for explaining to his 6 year old twins that a "special woman" carried them in her tummy for him... blah, blah, blah. My first reaction was " What the hell?" Why does he have to explain that to them? Why don't they know her and her role in their lives at 6 years old? It makes me SO very grateful for the relationship that I have with my surro family. 4 months after birth we still email, text and Skype regularly. I would say at least weekly we have some contact, even if it is just a Greys Anatomy catch up! I don't ever feel like I can't contact them to say hi or like I am forgotten now that I am no longer carrying their baby. I also don't think that there is a risk of Isaac not knowing me. Now the specifics about my role in his birth is up to his parents to decide what he will be taught, but I know that even living in another country, he will know who I am. And not just me, he will know my family too. All along it was said that we were growing a family but it was not just their family, it was mine too. It is also pretty cool to be able to say that I carried and gave birth to my Godson! Not many people can do that! I cannot emphasize enough what a great experience this journey was and still is. I love getting little videos and pictures of Isaac and his daddies and watching them all grow and adjust to being a family. What has been even more amazing is getting to see their families with Isaac. Just like the pictures with his daddies, when I get to see pictures of Isaac and his cousins or grandparents it warms my heart. He is so loved and adored. He has brought so much happiness to so many people. I am truly blessed to have played a part in that. Every day when I hear other surrogates talk of having it put into contracts that they will have contact x times per month and get pictures at specific intervals or that there will be no contact after birth, it breaks my heart. I know that there are different agreements set forth at the time of matching, but I couldn't imaging what it would be like to carry a baby and not have the parents involved in the pregnancy or to give birth and not see updates on how they are doing. I just cannot not fathom not being able to just send an email or text asking for a picture. (ok, I don't even have to do that, my guys are really good at sending me regular pictures) I guess we just got lucky all the way around!
Looking back at the beginning of this journey I had no idea what to expect after the birth, but this is better than I could have imagined. A story book journey!
