Something Special!

  For over a year now I have written, ranted and raved about this crazy surrogacy journey I put my family through, BUT there is another side to this story, that of Isaac's parents! I can only imagine what it must have been like to have your child growing in someone you have known for such a short time and to be so far away. I thought it would be nice to share a little bit of their perspective! So here it is, D and G wrote about one of my favorite subjects.... relationship!

One of the most frequent questions we get asked when we discuss our adventure with friends and families is “How will you talk to your son about your surrogate? ”. This one question doesn't sit well with us for many reasons : it implies some things should be hidden from Isaac when he grows up. It implies “the surrogate” is “a carrier” whose role is physical and limited to a pregnancy. Most of all, it implies there is something in the way Isaac was conceived we should worry about telling him and carefully discuss with him.
So, every time this question comes up, we have the same answer that became so clear as the pregnancy was under way. This person is not “a surrogate”. This person is NAOMI. Isaac’s godmother. A mother whom we know and love for being one of the most giving, moral,  freedom-loving, individual we have ever met.  Someone who, when we first met and asked about her motivations for doing this told us “Because i want to show my children to see what it is to do something selflessly”. Someone who, with her family,  is part of Isaac’s life, always. Someone whose strength of character and values we would dream for our son to take after.  

When we first met with Naomi and her husband, it’s safe to say we were afraid on both sides as to whether we would “click” because of the cultural divide, the worlds between us. Naomi was wondering how she would relate and interact with two French people. We had never been to a small town so far from Paris and were wondering if we would have anything in common with this couple we did not know and would never have met had it not been for Isaac.  

What happened next was extraordinary:  as we spent more time together, we started looking at each other not as “the french gay couple” and “the surrogate from Northern California” but as human beings. We grew a friendship which became stronger as the months went by. We discovered each other’s characters, for better or for worse :-) Isaac’s birth sealed this relationship with Naomi and her family in a way none of us had expected. The weeks we spent together before and after his birth were intense, full of joy and expectations. We got to spend time with her, her husband, daughters, her mom. What started as an improbable encounter for a surrogacy 18 months ago became a lifelong bond.

As much as we assumed we had little in common with Naomi at the beginning of this journey, she became a role model for us. As a working mother whose dedication to raising her children with values of kindness and honesty. As a strong, independent woman who always makes her own choices, disregarding what the others might think, driven by the goal to help those who might be in need.

So, to those who ask us “How will you talk to your son about your surrogate”, our answer is : This person is not a surrogate. This person is Naomi, Isaac’s godmother. And we couldn’t be more thankful that she is part of our family’s life.

Much love,

D & G



Aren't they sweet? And here is a picture of my adorable surro family! Of course Isaac is much bigger now, he was just shy of 4 weeks here! Relationship, that is what makes this process emotionally bearable and worth every bit of pain and discomfort.