It's a ........

So after a slight delay our IP's got to come visit our tiny little town and meet my family, including the dogs, and find out what their baby is! It was such an exciting day!! It was a little stressful preparing for our Ips arrival, they come from a very large city and well... it's Redding. I wouldn't say that I was worried, just anxious to see how they reacted to such a small place! It all went well and they even survived their drive through all of the cow and horse pastures in Cottonwood to my house.
   Of course I had not slept well the night before and started my morning off with a trip to the dentist which sucked!! But after all of that I was able to meet up with our IPs and do a little catching up before we went to tour the hospital. With Mercy being a catholic hospital I was not sure how a surrogate pregnancy would be received, but it went well. The lady that gave us the tour was very nice, answered all of our questions and showed us everything on the labor and delivery floor and pediatrics. It sounds like they will be as accommodating as possible to the needs of our unique situation. Then it was off to the doctor for our BIG ultrasound!!
   I love my doctor. I chose him because I knew that he had worked with a few other surrogates in the area, he is younger and fairly laid back. He has a good sense of humor as well! His staff has really worked with us as much as possible to make sure that everything goes nicely. My Ips really liked him too. He took the time to answer questions and even gave us a little 3D peek of the baby!! Which brings me to the ultrasound. What an experience!! This was the fourth time that I have been able to see the baby BUT it was the parents first time getting to see their baby! It was so amazing to get to witness them seeing their baby move and we even got some really nice picture of its face. Again, my doctor took the time to explain all of the things that we were looking at and reassure the parents that everything looked normal. Emotionally it was an interesting experience for me. I was amazed by the 3D images, I did not have 3D with my kids. It was so cool to see the facial features already! But I did not feel that warm, falling in love with my baby feeling that I had with my own. It was more of a sense of joy for the parents. This was the moment that the pregnancy became very real for them. It was not just pictures and emails from the other side of the world, they were there, in the room seeing their baby and watching it move around and kick, and seeing its little heart beat. It was just an amazing experience! And so what everyone wants to know..... what is it??

 IT'S A BOY!!! He is not modest at all and gave us quite a view!! THIS was especially exciting for me because while I knew that my IPS were leaning toward girl, I really thought it was a boy! They, of course, are thrilled with a boy as well! This is my first time carrying a boy so I am excited to see just how different it will be from my girl pregnancies. Unfortunately, this pregnancy is going so quickly!! I cannot believe that in just a few days I will be 6 months pregnant. That means that in about 16 weeks we will get to meet this little guy!

 What a year it has been. To think back to this time last year, I was stressing over if I would meet the right couple and how long this process takes. Now, I wish it would slow down a bit! This has been such an amazing, life changing experience for my whole family!

   As if seeing their son for the first time and checking out possible places to live for a bit was not enough, my IPs got to meet my family in person for the first time! We started off kind of slow. They met me and the kids at the mall and had a few minutes to chat with the kids while we did some shopping. Then my mom joined us. Now, I was quite excited for her to meet them. While she has been very supportive, I knew that meeting the parents in person would be when she would fully understand how and why I can carry a baby and be okay with not taking it home. Also why I would go through all of the medical stuff and the body changes of pregnancy for people who a year ago were strangers to us. As expected, she loved them! Then we all went to dinner where we were joined by George and Dallys. Dinner went really well and it was full of laughter and good conversations!

  Today my Ips came out to the house to say goodbye. We had a nice visit and my dogs were pretty well behaved! As some know, I am a stress cleaner before we have company. Well because we had all been so sick we just deep cleaned a couple of weeks ago and time was pretty limited so of course things were not as clean as I would have liked, but it was reality! I have 3 kids and 2 dogs and work while going to school and pregnant, some dust and clutter is what life is really like for us! Now in about 3 weeks my housekeeping allowance will start!! I will still do the stuff I am crazy about but it will be so nice to pass on cleaning the floors and bathrooms! Dusting too, I hate dusting! I have never had someone else clean my house for me so I am really torn, do I hire a company that I know will do a good job, or do I hire Dallys who is cheaper labor!! Really, I think that I may do both, have Dallys clean one week and a professional the next!

  Overall it was a great visit that was filled with emotions. It was so exciting to get to introduce my IPs to my kids and mom and Dallys so that they all know why I adore my Ips so much. It was also great for my kids to experience a little bit of a different culture! And it was absolutely amazing to get to watch my IPs realize that they really are going to be parents in just a few short months. I cannot imagine what it must be like for them. They have to trust that someone all the way around the world, in a country with different norms will be responsible enough to love and nurture their baby from just a few days after conception until he is ready to come into the world. They have to trust that I really will follow the things that are lined out in the contract and that their baby's health is the top priority. I think about how hard it is for me to let my kids go to a friends house and I cannot fathom what this is like for them. I hear horror stories of the limitations and requests that other surrogate have from their IPs and I am so grateful that mine just trust me to do what is best.  What an honor to be a part of changing their lives like this.

20 weeks

Ok really, I am a slacker.... I am now 22 weeks but it has been a CRAZY couple of weeks since my 20 week appointment! The kids and I have taken turns with every illness going around!
   My 20 week appointment went well. The baby sounded good. It was pretty routine. We were supposed to have an ultrasound on 2/4 but due to some uncontrollable circumstances that appointment had to be changed. Now my IPs will be here on 2/13 for the big ultrasound to see what the gender is!! My vote.... boy. For no reason other than it's lack of cooperation with anything I want to do! First off, when I try to pick up the hear beat with the Doppler it moves as soon as I get it. Then it likes to wiggle when I have to pee and when I go to bed. Of course feeling the baby move is not a bad thing BUT there is no way that I could let it move and not poke it back. That is my little reward for carrying this baby, I get to play with it!! It also hates Taco Bell nachos (which I love) and anything else that has the slightest bit of spice. I pay for that indulgence with some lovely heartburn!
Overall though I still feel great. I am loving being pregnant at this point. I am not so huge that I cannot move and I am out of the "is she getting fat" stage.
  Kaylee was super excited that she got to be the first (and only one besides me) to feel that baby move from the outside! This was quite a feat. It took serious patience and several tries. Our day was spent like this. "Kaylee, it's moving" she runs over pushes her hand on my belly only to feel nothing for several minutes. We repeated this process for hours until finally she got to feel a little roll! I on the other hand am not only privy to little rolls, I am starting to get some good kicks too. Not painful, it just kind of takes my breath away. And of course it thinks that my bladder is a trampoline.
   Noah has been quite entertaining as well now that he has realized that there is a baby in my tummy. He wanted to listen to the heart beat so we did, then he wanted to listen to the heart beat of the baby in HIS tummy. When we couldn't find it he said "oh, the baby in my tummy died!" He also asked why I ate the baby! And the other day in the car he asked how the baby got in my tummy. I explained to him that the doctor used a special tube to put the baby in there. (much easier to explain than a traditional pregnancy!) To that he replied "Well, I want the doctor to put a baby in my tummy too!" Gotta love 3 year olds!!
   Kimberly is mostly into boys and her friends but still likes to regularly jiggle my belly and talk to the baby. I am trying to convince her that the jiggling is not necessary!!
   As stubborn as the baby is, it really likes my dog. Nothing gets it moving like my dog laying her head on my tummy! I have a feeling that it will become a battle once the movements are strong enough to disturb Karma from her napping!
  So far I have not had any strange cravings either. I have cravings.... just not strange stuff. My most common have been steak and pudding. I have also developed an aversion to home brewed coffee, even with my precious pumpkin spice creamer. I have had quite a sweet tooth, for which I am paying every time I look at the scale. My weight gain is not too bad, just not where I wanted it to be. My goal for the next week is to make time to go check out a gym. My schedule is so crazy that I do not have much daylight time that I can go for a walk and it turns out that I suck at doing videos. There are just too many distractions as home!! My hope is that I will be able to fit the gym in between work and getting the kids. The one I am looking at has a lot of options that I am interested in like water aerobics and yoga. Really the big thing is that when I work my ass off at the gym I am more motivated to eat well. It turns out that pregnancy does not go with my eating plan from before. There are a few reasons for this. First of all, my main staple for lunch was deli meat and left over chicken. As my luck would have it, the dietary recommendations have gotten stricter since the last time I was pregnant and all meats must be heated (including the deli meat). This disrupted my routine and I now fall victim to the temptation of the Taco Bell burrito! Really it comes down to I have no idea what the hell to eat for lunch that is safe and does not have to be heated. Now, if I had an office job heating food would not be an issue BUT that is not what I do! I go from place to place in my car all day and who knows where I will be when I get hungry!!
  The other challenge I have had is that I cannot get anyone (like my doctor) to tell me EXACTLY how many calories I NEED while I am pregnant. I am certain I have to have more than the 1200 I ate before! My doctor's only solution is to get more aerobic exercise. Now, don't get me wrong. I know that I enjoy exercising when I do it. I just truly have not been able to find the time to do it! Now, I tell clients all day that you have to schedule self care blah blah blah... I suck at that!
   My self care has been naps! Which again I relate to my lack of exercise the last few months. Let me bore you with my sleep history. I used to sleep like shit. Can't fall asleep, cant stay asleep and so on. Now when I was running regularly I slept great. The first trimester, I still slept great. Second trimester my sleeping sucks again. And I NEED sleep!! I am not a person that can function on a few hours of sleep. I wish I could say that I was losing sleep because I was uncomfortable or the baby moved too much but no, that is not it. I just can't sleep! Most nights I do fall asleep ok but I wake up around 2 am and stay awake for HOURS! I think it is so frustrating to me because I know how to sleep better but I have not found a way to fit it in. I am however, getting ready to register for the Gnarly Neon again. This was is the 5k that I ran last year. It is May 3rd and I will be about 36 weeks pregnant so I am pretty sure that I will NOT be running it BUT you bet your ass I will be walking those 3 miles with my girls!! In order to do that though I need to start doing something!
  I am also still really wanting to have a drug free birth (which again is easier when you stay active). I am not super woman and I know it hurts like hell. I tried with Kaylee but I did not have the greatest support at delivery so when my doctor was not supportive of a drug free birth I caved. I obviously chose a different doctor this time! I also have a doula and a supportive husband. I do worry a little bit about my IPs though. See, I know me and pain. I have a pretty high tolerance BUT it absolutely turns off any censor that I may have to my mouth! I worry that I may call them names or yell at them but hopefully they will know that I really do love them and don't mean it!! Really I am hoping to use some relaxation and meditation techniques to help me stay in control. And quite honestly, I am fully willing to accept that there may be a point that I decide that drug free is more than I can handle!
   The next two weeks will be a whirl wind of prep for our IPs to come. They not only get to hear and see their baby in person BUT in the two days that they are here they will get to meet my family as well. They will get a slight introduction into my schedule as well. The day they get here I have a dentist appointment ( which I have put off several times and HAVE to go now) then we will do the hospital tour and sonogram. After that I will rush back to Cottonwood to pick up the kids and back to Redding for Kimberly's Orthodontist appointment. Then we will all have dinner together hopefully before Noah get's tired and turns into super asshole. Friday won't be as bad though. I just have to drop off the kids and prepare for George and I to leave town early Saturday for my farewell trip to the beach!
   I am trying to not be sad over the fact that the day is soon approaching when I will not be able to sit on the beach. I know it is temporary but that is my heaven. Nothing is as soothing as sitting on the beach watching the waves. That is where I go when I need a break. The mountains and lakes are nice but nothing like the beach! I really wish that I was closer to the ocean. Enough of that, I really can't think about it anymore.
   Hopefully the next update will be a big gender reveal!!

 

Here is a growing tummy picture at 5 months

4 months!

I cannot believe that I am already over 4 months pregnant (18 weeks, 4 1/2 months to be exact)! This pregnancy is flying by! I really am feeling good and enjoying it at this point. I am starting to feel the baby move more and more every day.
  After my appointment in December I was really bummed that I was not allowed to record the baby's heart beat for the parents to hear. SO I bought a Doppler so that we can hear it at home anytime! I was able to send them a video of the baby's heart beat on Christmas eve! My kids are really enjoying getting to hear the baby. Kaylee likes to try to find it on her own and Noah has decided that everyone has a baby in their tummy so we have to listen for the heart beat on everyone. Kimberly also takes it upon herself to jiggle my tummy every time she walks by. Yeah, this is not so fun. I try to remind her that the baby is pushing everything around so what she is playing with is really just fat, but the bump is just too tempting for her!
  We have also had some fun seeing how different my tummy can look at different times. Some mornings the baby is all on one side so the other is side is flat and squishy. Other times it must be laying very far back because it all feels like fat and no bump! It is also fun to poke around and feel the baby move around. It especially likes to move when I am trying to hear the heart beat!
   This has been such a great experience so far. I really have enjoyed having the opportunity to educate others on the process of surrogacy. It has been great to see my children so excited about watching the baby grow. Our Ips will be here the beginning of February for the gender reveal ultrasound. This will also be the first time that they meet our family in person. I think it will really help them all to prepare for the birth and the fact that we will not be bringing the baby home to have been able to spend time in person with the parents. It warms my heart to hear my children explain to others that we are carrying this baby for another family. They show so much acceptance and are truly excited about this process. It has been difficult to explain to them that there is the possibility that they may come across someone that may be opposed to the surrogacy. Kaylee did get into one heated conversation with an adult and she stood her ground on what she believes is right. I am so proud of her for that. What an experience for my whole family. Some have thought that this is something that only affects the parents and me but that is not the case. My parents have a role, my grandma helps out, my siblings and their kids are even affected as we have to explain to them how I can be pregnant and it's not mine AND we will not bring it home. Even my ex husband and his family have a role as they have to be flexible with their visitation and explain the situation to their kids. But I have been blesses with so much support. Plus because I believe that this journey is a calling from God, I have no worries about those who do not agree. There are some that I avoid because I don't think that they are capable or willing to try to see things from another viewpoint but it is never because I doubt my decision. This has been such a blessing to us in so many ways. While it for sure is not all about the money, this journey has allowed me to continue to work on my Master's degree without having to stress about the added expenses that working for free has added. We have been able to take many more mini vacations and are planning a trip to Disneyland. We have also been able to pay things off ensuring that we will be more comfortable once this extra money is not there. We are definitely grateful for this opportunity and I would do it again in a heart beat!
  Here is a picture at 18 weeks. Next update will be after my ob appointment on the 21st

 

 

First Ob Appointment

   Finally at 15 weeks 3 days I had my first "normal" Ob appointment. The poor nurse that had to take my weight!! I think she was a little scared that I may get completely naked in the hall way. Hey, after putting on some weight while taking all of those meds there is NO WAY I am letting a number be written down that includes a jacket, boots and TWO shirts! Yep, that's right I totally stood there in leggings and a tank top! As expected all was well with me and the baby. I even got to hear the baby's heart beat for the first time! This was bitter sweet for me. I was thrilled to get the reassurance that the baby is well, but I really wish that I was able to share that with the baby's parents! Unfortunately due to my doctor's malpractice insurance limitations there is no recording allowed. So of course, this is not ok with me. I cannot imagine the parents having to wait until the ultrasound in February (when I will be 5 1/2 months pregnant) to hear their baby's heart beat for the first time! That little sound is so beautiful that every parent should hear it as soon as possible. After my appointment I spent some time looking for a at home Doppler that is sensitive enough to hear the heart at the beginning of the second trimester. Boy was I shocked! Those things can cost THOUSANDS! Needless to say, I did not get one of those! I found one at a much more reasonable price that will be here between 12/21 and 12/26.
   I also think that being able to hear the baby at home will be fun for my kids. The girls have each got to go to one of the ultrasound appointments and see the heart beating, but they have not heard it. Noah may like it too (briefly). He has suddenly realized that there is a baby in my tummy. We haven't said too much to him about it because I didn't think he would understand or care much. The other day he told me "there is a baby in your tummy". I guess it is time to bring out the Kangaroo Pouch! That is a book I bought that explains surrogacy to young children using kangaroos. Basically the little Kangaroo's mom explains that she is carrying a baby kangaroo in her pouch for a family that cannot do it on their own. I also think it will be more real to him once he actually meets the parents and really sees who the baby will go home with. Right now they are some cool people that he occasionally talks to on the computer. It is very interesting going through this process with such a wide range of ages with my own children. They each understand it in a different way.
   I am also starting to show enough that people are starting to notice. I have had a few clients ask and a few more people that are questioning if I have either put on weight or if I am pregnant. I am loving this stage of pregnancy. I feel so good. I am having some clothing struggles though. If I wear something not maternity it just squishes everything around so I just look fat. I also think that my stomach is shaped weird. Have you seen those girls that have the tiny little balls just below their bely buttons? Yep, that is NOT me! It is like the bottom bump has pulled out the top of my stomach with it. There is no sucking in and  having a flat stomach. It is amazing what age and weight fluctuation do to your body! With Kimberly I had just a tiny little bump at 5 months, with Kaylee I had a bump like this one. I showed early with her too. Here is a picture from a Christmas party. I was 14 weeks 5 days.

It is crazy how some women don't look pregnant until much later! Thank God for the Surrogate groups I have connected with! I am able to see there that while there are quite a few that have the tiny bumps there are also a lot of others who get the big bumps from the beginning! My only reassurance that I am not just getting super fat is that I can still put on all of my pre-pregnancy clothes. So far it is all in my boobs and belly. I bought some great pregnancy workout videos, but it seems that I never have time to do them!! I am so excited that January is my last on site class. Maybe then I can do something! My days are seriously packed! I leave my house at 7 am and two days  a week I am not home until almost 11 pm. Then we have added an additional class for supervision so I am gone until after 8pm a third day! And of course with it being the holidays it seems as though the kids have something going every other day! When I do get a day off I am usually so tired that I just want to do NOTHING or it is filled with homework and case notes. Now, I am not complaining. I like to be busy. I am just missing the time I had to work out when I just went to school. I miss running on the river trail with my dog. I would so love to even be able to walk her on the trail a few days a week. It is pretty hard to find time to do that when I leave and return in the dark! But there is light at the end of the tunnel! While I will still have some on line classes I think that I will at least be able to fit in an evening walk. Not on my beloved river trail, but a chance to do something active again!

Next appointment is January 21st, hopefully there is more good news!

End of the first trimester

I believe that I am just 2 days away from the beginning of the second trimester! It is reassuring that the risk of miscarriage is much less and exciting that I will soon start to feel the baby move, that is my favorite part of pregnancy! I am feeling really good these days. Aside from a sensitive gag reflex, I am not sick at all and the extreme exhaustion is gone. Don't get me wrong, I still get tired, but not like I did! I think my body has remembered how to stretch out for a pregnancy though, I had a client ask if I was pregnant the other day. It seems between 11 and 12 weeks my uterus got big enough that the top of my stomach could no longer stay flat resulting in the beginning of a bump appearing. It is a bitter sweet moment. I am struggling with what to wear on a daily basis. I tried rubber banding my pants together when they got uncomfortable to button but the zipper still rubbed and drove me nuts. I have resorted to some maternity pants, leggings and workout pants. I was reluctant to get anything maternity, I'm not sure why, I just was not ready to move into "those" clothes BUT Thanksgiving made the idea of a stretchy waist very appealing! I do have to admit that they are much more comfy and cute than they were 10 years ago. If I wasn't working though I would totally just live in workout pants.
  It is always fun when people ask about my pregnancy if they do not know the story. The first question is usually " wow, don't you and your husband already have a bunch of kids?" To which I get the opportunity to explain that this one is not ours. Ok, I have to admit that I have had some fun with my daughters friends by telling them that its not my husbands and waiting a minute to tell them it's not mine either!! I really have not had any negative reactions to being a surrogate at this point. I am a little surprised at that, I really thought that someone would have something negative to say. My guess is that those that do not support our decision to help grow a family are choosing not to say anything!
   My next ob appointment is on 12/19 which will hopefully be the first time I get to actually hear the baby's heart beat. I am hoping that I can convince my doctor to let me record it so the parents can hear it too. I was originally told that because of malpractice issues I could not record anything, but I'm still going to ask! Really, how much harm could a 15 second recording of the heart beat cause?
  Speaking of growing families, and totally not surrogacy related, George and I are FINALLY Noah's legal parents! November 20th our adoption was finalized! It was a great day. The actual court hearing was really short but we had a nice dinner and we had a good sized group of family there to support us. We also had a photographer there to capture the moment. She got some wonderful pictures!
   Today I will leave you with a picture of my growing belly! I am still in the awkward "is she pregnant or gaining weight" stage but it is starting to look more like a pregnant belly!

10 week ultrasound

Well, I have learned that the farther along in the pregnancy I am the more difficult it is to stay up to date on my blog! We are just days away from reaching 12 weeks and the end of the first trimester which means that the risk of miscarriage goes down greatly. It also means that it has been almost 2 weeks since my last appointment!
  Everything is going good and I am still feeling well for the most part. There are days I am nauseous or things that make me gag but it's NOTHING like it was! I am starting to expand, which is both exciting and scary. Having been so heavy in the past, it is hard to feel my pants getting tight again BUT I know that it is baby this time and not just fat! I am entering into the awkward stage where people are questioning if I am gaining weight or pregnant. The strangest thing that I am finding is that as my uterus expands, so does my muffin top. I am not gaining any weight (aside from the 15 I gained when I started meds) but it doesn't stay in like it used to! Here is a picture of the ever so tiny baby bump making an appearance.

So to the fun stuff... the baby! At the ultrasound everything looked great. Kimberly was with me for this one so she got to see the baby moving all around. It has been really cool to share this experience with my girls and my doctor is so good at explaining things to them. The baby is growing well and at 10 weeks 3 days it was measuring 11 weeks 1 day. My first question was if that was any indication that the baby would be large (mine were over 8 and 9 pounds), I was assured that it meant nothing other than it was healthy and growing well! I now have to wait until December 19 for another appointment which will just be a basic check up BUT I may get to hear the hear beat at this one. Up to now I just get to see it on the ultrasound. Then the big anatomy scan ultrasound is scheduled for February 4th. Super exciting because our IPs will be coming here to be there for the appointment. They will also get to meet my family in person for the first time (haha, they can't change their minds now when they see how nuts we are! :)  ) 

   After the ultrasound I had to get some blood work. Usually I have to get 2 vials, no big deal. THIS time I also had to have blood taken for some screenings AND my prenatal panel for my doctor. They took 7 vials of blood! Poor Kimberly hates needles so she so graciously held my purse in the waiting room! It really was not that bad but I hate to see all of that blood leave my body! Good things came from at least 2 vials though, I got to stop all of my hormone meds and baby aspirin. What a relief!! Now I am down to an allergy pill, DHA, folate and 3 vitamins a day. Yes 6 pills is a relief!

   Now for the next few weeks my goal is to focus on eating well and trying to fit exercise back into my routine. While I obviously expect some weight gain, it does not have to be a lot. The past few months of extra hormones and busy schedules have shown me that it is easy to go back to old habits and that the effects of those habits are still the same!

I will leave you with the latest French Fry picture! As you can see it is looking more human!

 

8 week ultrasound

   This is going to be a short blog, mostly because I have taken so long to write it that it will be time for another in just a few days! On 10/31 I had the 8 week ultrasound. The baby is developing on schedule and everything looks good! It is starting to look more and more human, although my mom and Kaylee think it really resembles a peanut! Here is a picture of French Fry at 8 weeks!

My labs were good this time too, I got to reduce most of my medications!! That was a big relief. After a while it gets really hard to take so much medication every day! I am hoping that after this weeks appointment I will be able to start taking even less!

 

I have actually been feeling pretty good. I rarely throw up, but have a very sensitive gag reflex. My family all think that it is HILARIOUS to try and make mom gag or throw up. Most effective is dog eye boogers and farts. Yeah, leave it to my kids to get me gagging and LAUGH! Poor George, normally I don't have any problem taking care of my dog BUT this baby doesn't like dog poop. My poor girl pooped and as soon as I saw it the gagging started! George came to the rescue to pick it up for me!

The only other complaint that I would have is that I am TIRED!!! I remember feeling tired before but not like this! Most of it is probably the craziness of my life but this is crazy. If I don't get a nap, and I have been too busy to nap lately, I am exhausted by the time I hit my pillow. Hopefully that will get better in a few  weeks when the first trimester is over!



Well, that's it for now! I have my 10 week monitoring appointment on Thursday so hopefully there is more good news!